Tag Archive: God


Failure Proof

I still believe that my meeting with her was divine.

We met under odd circumstances, talked very personal topics almost immediately, I was drawn to ask her questions that directed towards her troubles and she says she somehow trusted me to tell it to me even though its a secret all these years. I never really told her this but I felt God prodding me towards counseling her and after almost 3 years, I can see the fruits of His mercy and grace in her and her family today.

Yet I am troubled. Early on as we were exploring starting a relationship, she said she prayed to God for someone she could trust to be with her and said that I was God’s answer to her prayer. Among other considerations, this was a significant reason we got together. But as things came to a close these last few months, I feel betrayed. Not by God, but by her and her actions immediately after. (But thats for another day.)

But then doubt comes and I have to wonder, where is God’s hand in all this?

I never had really high expectations or strict standards for a GF. As long as shes female, looks good (Hot, Cute, Pretty or Beautiful, minimum one) and loves God (preferably more than I do), shes “in the list” as I always say to friends. Any thing else like wealth, being a gamer, cooks well, have cool parents and other such nice ‘traits’ are bonuses. Not necessary but not unimportant, ya know?

So where did I go wrong? Where did we go wrong? How did things come crashing down as fast as we got togather? I have been pondering this question for some time and slowly God has been ministering to me mostly via songs. I was listening to some Hillsongs in my car via my fm modulator and recently swapped some random albums in. They were from the years 2005-2000 and sings about many songs I worshiped and jumped to when I was maturing as a Christian and finding myself. It talks about how Jesus is the Lover of my Soul, reminds me of the Whys of what I do, bring me back in awe of All that He is, cloaks me in His Majesty again. Makes me remember jumping to One Way, Tell the world and shouting his praises in various concerts and conferences till I’m soaked through in sweat. Usually in a newly bought T-Shirt!

God was reminding me of what it was to be all gung-ho for him again. How it was in the old days when my life was only God and Games. Before all the complications of life, God stands out and says “don’t forget”.

One of the song I’ve been listening to these last few days is Jesus’ Blood from Hillsong  United. Simple lyrics and only 5 words make up most of the 2 and a half minute song.

Jesus blood never fails me,
Jesus blood never fails me,
Jesus blood never fails me,
Jesus blood, Jesus blood.
Sing Your songs of freedom,
Praise the God of heaven,
Love that never fails me,
Jesus blood, Jesus blood.

Yea, God doesn’t fail us. Behind me some feet away, I see my footsteps and my ex girl’s footprints dancing together in the sand. It seems to start from soooo long ago and as it nears me it starts to turn into harsh streaks as struggle and untangled out of each other’s life. Already my prints leading towards where I am are heavy with weight and loneliness, but I know better. I know my God is always there. He never fails me. He won’t stop being at my side. His blood never fails me.

Salvation Is Here in my heart cos Hes alive and he lives in me.

Cause I know my God saved the day
And I know His word never fails
And I know my God made a way for me
Salvation is here

Salvation is here
Salvation is here and He lives in me
Salvation is here
Salvation that died just to set me free
Salvation is here
Salvation is here and He lives in me
Salvation is here
Cause You are alive and You live in me

But man, is it quite in my house. Parents away visiting a seminary in USA for 2 months, Sister is married in Aussie, Best friend went to Singapore to work… its dead quiet in the house. :S

*goes to play Alan Wake*

Getting to the center of it.

Wow, its been 4 years. I suddenly thought of this blog again after so many years due to a recent happening in my life that caused me to review a lot of things.

In GG&G, I’ve never wrote about the last G, Girls. Interestingly, it is the reason I decided to come back to writing blog posts into cyberspace.

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My sister once said that when you really get down to discussing stuff with someone you are serious with, you learn to “compromise the things you thought you would never compromise”. In a way after breaking up with this wonderful girl a few weeks back, I do think back and regret compromising on some things I shouldn’t have, and not compromising on somethings I should have. But I’ll skip about me and her for now and get to the point of the blog post.

I was surfing facebook and google some time back, about 3 weeks after my breakup and I came across this:


Original Image

And I smiled, thinking of a few friends I could show this to.You know, those people who spend ALL their time with their Significant Other? Well I wasn’t like that as both me and my girl knew each other friends quite well, we hanged out with groups of friends and stuff.

Anyway, that sunday, worshiping in church, the worship leader sang a song I heard once before, called “Jesus Be The Centre”

Singing that song convicted me for some reason. I searched my heart and the above image came to mind. Now for all the distractions in life, I’ve never had the problem of putting God second. Not for gaming, food, friends, work, studies or any such things, but I realized spending time with my girl has reduced the time I spent with God. I still did my ministries and stuff, but I guess I elevated her to about as high as God in terms of time spent be it with her or thinking of her(etc etc, you know what I mean).

Its amazing, something that blessed you so much can even compete with God without you knowing. I always was sure of God’s place, but when I look back at the last few years… I never realized that I placed Him further away than I should have. Again I smiled, thinking that image was really actually for me from God. Man, I felt like I just got conned or something by Him. 😀

So Jesus be the center of my Life. Yea, thats my theme for this year. Gonna spend time back with God, listen more to his music, read his Word and just get back to His love while getting over her’s. Great girl, tell ya more about her later!

Needy Children vs “Tainted” Money

Wow, just wow. Read on.

Christian Children’s Fund provides “health care, day care, safe water, nutrition, education and training programs, and projects for handicapped children.” Thats nice. It was so nice, that even one of the biggest most influential gaming icons, the late Mr Gary Gygax, considered it his most favorite charity and apparently supported them now and then. But it seems, the CCF thinks such needy children arn’t so needy after all.

To quote the place I 1st saw this: Link

The fine folks at GenCon raised over $17,000 for this charity, which helps starving children in impoverished areas of the world–only to have that money actually turned down by the charity. The charity refused due to the fact that the money was raised partly by the sales of Dungeons and Dragons materials, which as we all know, puts an irrevocable taint of evil on the filthy lucre that us demon-worshipping gamers might want to use to, say, donate to starving children. Not only is this a slap in the face to every gamer, but it is especially insulting to Mr. Gygax himself, who I understand donated to their cause many times over the years. Plus, I’m sure the children who would have gotten food or clean drinking water with that money would be sort of upset, too.

As a gamer, I feel “those Christians” are pushing me away yet again. They spit on that which I cherish time and time again, and even giving donations to help the needed, seeing its from me, isn’t worthy enough to be accepted.  As a Christian, I’m thinking, we need better PR representation here God. How are we to reach out if others keep slamming the doors?

As I read that article, I feel very sad. On so many levels. From the people who will reject Christ because of this article strengthening their resolve to not be like “those Christians”, to the kids who will not benefit from the aid they will need, especially with all this recession coming on. But before that, I KNOW any Christian worth their salt will ask, Weren’t they right in not accepting it?

Interesting question. This Link gives an interesting look:
Q:Mother Theresa accepted donations for her work from all sources – regardless of the background of the donors. She said that once the money was in her possession, she would put it to good use – its origin was irrelevant. Was Mother Theresa wrong to accept this money?

A:The only reasons I can imagine for it being wrong are consequentialist ones (i.e., the wrongness resides in the consequences such acceptances produce), and they strike me as weak reasons at that. First. the acceptance might encourage illegal or immoral activity, by creating a demand or outlet for such activity. Second, the acceptance could be interpreted by some as an endorsement of the activity — drug or arms dealing, gambling, prostitution, etc. But you’d have to show (1) that the acceptance really is being interpreted as endorsement, and (2) that the perceived endorsement is causing something bad to happen.
Now, in Mother Teresa’s case, I’d have to say these reasons don’t hold. Both of them constitute what Mother Teresa would have considered the serious sin of scandal, and I doubt that she would have willingly committed it.

By accepting the cash, would CCF have endorsed them? No, I don’t believe so, they accepted from Gary Gygax and did not, I believe, come up to refute or otherwise reject his claim that he liked them. So why now, when GenCon, who yearly holds a yearly charity auction, and having choose this particular organization in memory of the late Gary Gygax, that CCF decided that the money was suddenly not wanted? Note: PART of the money came from sold D&D products btw, not all.

Some of you may still be thinking, its “sin money”, its unacceptable. I don’t believe so:

Now, to clarify, before I started even touching D&D, I did about 3 months of research about it. I read stuff by Christians condemning it, I read gamers who counter condemned them back (equally pathetic arguments half the time), and I also read about Christian Gamers, they were the most insightful of all. But the killer, was about investigative reports to those who claimed their kids were killed by D&D and all such things. Yes, they were fake. Heck, it reeks of Jack Thompson, the “christian” lawyer who capitalizes the deaths of others by spouting his lies infront of national TV with unverified(or made up, whichever) stories. By the end of the 3 months, I felt I was read to make an informed decision. I started reading the 3.5th edition core books. All 900+ pages between a sem break. Why so long? I don’t want to have to feel guilty or insecure about the possibility of playing a “demonic satanic hell-bringing” game, I want to be able to enjoy it fully without no pangs of my consciousness, to play it openly and be confident of my decision. But thats a story for another day.

So no, IMHO, it isn’t a sin. I have done many sinful things, D&D isn’t one of them. Its like music, it can worship the devil, it can worship God(Christian Rock is NOT an oxymoron!). In D&D, they gear the game towards “good overcoming evil”, especially in the 4th edition(so I heard). Music is easier to use for demonic purposes than D&D imo, infact i can confidently say, more people use music for less than “holy” purposes than D&D does. So, it is not so much as Music(like say rock) is unholy, but more its use is. In D&D, I myself stay away from including much religious stuff in, be it Clerical deities, or from real life influence. It will always be about good overcoming evil, Good clerics vs Bad clerics, etc etc. I made up my mind, no evil necromancer games for me.

Now the other thing that pissed me off:
This reminds me of a very recent trip of Mr Burlew’s comic, This , where basically she asks: …So, the real question is: Is your financial outlook so rosy that you can afford NOT to accept this money based solely on the assumption that all said about D&D is right?

CCF is saying, they do not wish to use that money to help provide “health care, day care, safe water, nutrition, education and training programs, and projects for handicapped children.” I promise you, if i needed healthcare, water, education and all that, and some stranger on the street offered me them, I really don’t care who gives it to me, I’ll take it, say thank you, and use it wisely.
Is CCF really so well funded and the kids so well taken care off that they can say no? Amazing, I know they won’t be a charity I will support nor seek to go under. If I see starving kids around me, and I ask CCF for money, the last thing I would want to hear is a “No, but we were offered some money but unfortunately part of it is possibly demonic, so yea, Amy there is going to die of starvation after all. Pity.”
I would smack that person, and scream SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Maybe it is because my family background is one of less than stellar financial status, I dunno. Saying no to money to the needy? If a friend won a lottery and gave me one million, ill accept it, and most probably use most for donation, but still, its one million towards a POSITIVE change.
Rome 13:14 says: Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.
You not only hurt the kids, you hurt one of the (imo)hardest to reach people groups, atheist gamers.

Ahhh, I have so much more to say, my heart feels so heavy. So I’ll end it early.
I believe in WWJD, Its a good idea to keep it in mind. Thus, when I read this, I see myself in this scenario:
I am standing on a hill, a guy on my left, a malnourished kid on my right, and Jesus standing infront of me. The man, he won the lottery and wishes to give me part of it to donate to some kids who are lacking basic necessities. I know he may gamble the rest away, maybe invest it instead, maybe even give it all away, but I know how he received it, and he is offering it with sincerity. The kid, she lack proper food, clean water, probably education and love. She is reaching out to me, her skin dirty, her smile filled with yellow unkept teeth, but her eyes, they look into my soul with sharp clarity. As tears well down her cheek, it begs of love and acceptance. I really want to help her, so I turn to Christ for counsel. When I look at Him, I feel the need to look at the man once again. When I turn to look at him, I finally notice his eyes, they too are crystal clear. Just like the child’s eyes, it begs of love and acceptance, they are both wanting the same thing deep down inside, the needs manifest differently. I look down and ponder, what I should do. Do I tell the girl to go away, unfed, unwashed, with no one to look after her, and then tell the guy, I don’t want his money, it is dirty? Or do I go against the Book, take the money give it to the child, and hug both of them really really tight…. then have my Peers condemn it as a sin? As i look up back to God, I am reminded about the bible verse on breaking the Sabbath day to help others. I know what the real question at stake is. How important is keeping Sabbath to you?

Note: longer question for those who did not get it, Is your love for these people greater than the need to keep the law? Or is love the overriding factor? Is it the root of the reason God gave us such Law?

Updates: Link
Right, they couldn’t sort things out with the GenCon people, especially seeing that all previous receivers of the charity auction money was considered beneficiaries. But like the post says, good of them to reply so quickly.

Links:

Original source
Original Story

Quick news about Jack Thompson

I received an email, not 24 hrs ago, from a trusted source. I say “trusted source” because I:
A)trust the source
B)don’t have time to properly validify the news story and images.

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It is not often that I highlight another person’s prayer request but this prayer request touches my heart (as India is the emailer’s ministry there). Moreover it is quite unprecedented for Muslims, Christians and Jews in Mizoram to work collaboratively for the greater good of India. Let us support them in prayer.

xxxxx

Mizoram Christians CRY ‘Peace for all’

Aizawl, Sep 29: In what appeared to be the largest congregation in recent times, tens of thousands of Mizo Christians took to the streets in Aizawl today condemning the increasing violence against Christians in Orissa and other parts of the country. As the Mizoram government declared a state holiday, the Peace Rally, spearheaded by the Mizoram Kohhran Hruaitute (church leaders) Committee (MKHC), witnessed a grand success.

Chief Minister Zoramthanga, a few ministers and MLAs, Chief Secretary Haukhum Hauzel and a number of high government officials were seen participating at the rally. Notably, hundreds from Muslim community and Mizo Jews also took part in the rally. The rallyist coming from southern and northern points of Aizawl converged at the Assam Rifles where they prayed for their fellow persecuted Christians and asked for God’s forgiveness for those who attacked them. Aizawl streets wore a deserted look when the processionists gathered at the AR Ground for a mass prayer.

In his speech at the AR Ground, Chief Minister Zoramthanga said that inhumane attacks on Christians in India have tarnished the image of India as the largest and secular country. He said he had personally talked to the Union Home Minister and the Prime Minister to take immediate measures to protect the minority Christians all over the country and safeguard the secularism of the country. MKHC Chairman and Mizoram Presbyterian Church Moderator Rev. Dr. H. Vanlalauva, who also spoke at the rally, said we must forgive and pray for the salvation of those who are persecuting the Christians.

The MHKC will submit memorandum to the State Governors, the President and the Prime Minister of India in a follow-up to today’s rally. “We strongly condemn the death of Swami Lakhsmananda Saraswati, and we equally condemn the consequent attacks on the innocent Christians who had nothing to do with the Swami’s death,” Rev K Lalrinsanga, General Secretary of the MKHC said today. The Peace Rally, which was also organised in other district capitals of Mizoram ended at around 2:30pm without any untoward incidents.

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It is good to see diffrent faiths coming togather, not for mutual benefit, but for plain old standing up for what is right. Sometimes, the “them” and “us” mentality that is drilled into us from young makes us hesitate to come to another’s aid. I don’t mean the kind where you see a car accident and you go and help, but more that you hear there is another religion/race specific rally, and you(assuming you are not “them) stop and wonder, if you were to join them, are you turning your back on your faith or people? Like those whites who stood up againts black slavery, they went didn’t so much as turn their back on their own race, but instead stood up for humanity, stood up for what is right, stood up for Jesus.

God says, we are all equal. If you would forgive the language, to take a quote from Full Metal Jacket: There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. All of us are sinners, we are equally undeserving, which is why the world needs more Mercy, Grace and Love, instead of Segregration, Intolerance and All-That-Divides.

I would like to write more, but I really got to go to sleep. Some additional notes below:

A quick google search brings me to a website (Link) which I *think* is a daily newspaper or something.
Its rather late, and I’m in need of sleep, not to mention having THREE posts i want to do before Monday rolls by but Real Life is getting in the way. Haih.

Anyone who can update me on whats happening, who this Swami Lakhsmananda Saraswati is, and general related info, do post in the comments. Havn’t been keeping up with the news lately.

God, Games and Girls

When people ask me, what is my life philosophy, what are the most important things in life and so on, I answer:

God, Games and Girls. In that order.”

This three G’s came about after learning about the Three C’s(Christianity, Commerce and Civilization) in a history class.
After a while, my brain somehow spit it out, and wallah!

Food is also a major theme in my life, and I gleefully admit that I have successfully increased eating habits upon my own church cell in the time that I have been with them. As much as I wanted to write God, Games, Girls and Food, it somehow lacked the oomph of GGG, so yea. Pity.

Anyway, this blog is mostly a mix of thoughts and things I come across, and wish to share. Just as Salvation is a Treasure that can be given freely without loss, so is the things I wish to type out. They probably will range from Games, Technology, Electronics to God, Christianity, WorldIsEndingOMG. Girls as a topic is something I will touch less on, as this blog was purposely made as an anonymous blog, not attached to my own life, nor my online presence. No, googling my username doesn’t give any hits but my older blog. And no, there’s nothing on it that isn’t here already.

For the Spiritually minded, the level of theology you will see here will not blow your head off, pray you will bear with my less than stellar understanding of God. Help helps btw.
For the Gamers, I won’t stuff God down your throat, Lord knows, the world is full of people who, with good-intentions, over do the “BeChristianOrBurnInHell… NOW!” thing. Hope you get some insights.
For the Girls, I’m currently single. Nuff Said.

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